I'll have it all.

I've been having writers block these past few weeks! Why? I've had so much going on in my mind, I couldn't find the right why of putting it down on a piece of paper.
I've been sad, confused, angry and frustrated! I've been looking for any reason to hate myself more and more each day. Life sometimes tests our strength more than we think we are capable of handling. We start to look for reasons why we should give up instead of searching for reasons why we've been holding on for so long!
Past. Such a harsh word in my life! Have I been holding onto my past all this time? Even though time after time I've said that I let it go! Yes. That's exactly what I've been doing. I thought that if I held on just a little bit longer I'd start to understand why I felt all this pain. Instead I've only caused myself more pain and heartache! We all seek clearance in it, but it's not there. It's in the moment of NOW.
Now. Present. All the answers I've been looking for has been in front of me all this time. Each day I wake up has been a blessing. God given gift. Yet, all the time I was staring into the past. Thinking of all the things I had instead of all the things I have.

Future. We all have hope and faith. No matter what we say. Why? Because every night we go to bed, we set our alarm clock. Even though we have no idea that we'll wake up the following day! That's hope. Faith, that he'll bless us with another day.

So here I am, trying my best to get over all these stupid feelings. Looking for all the amazing blessings in my life. Even if I don't see them all right now. I need to set my focus on NOW. Not yesterday or tomorrow. Life is a gift. I'm blessed with a gorgeous son, two awesome men who support me, family and loving friends.

Thank you all for being here.

My next post will be a lot better. Promise!

XoXo